Lucifer_666
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Weekend Movie List # 3This Weekend's movies 
SATURDAY:
Assault on Precinct 13 BBC1
The Quartermass Xperiment BBC2
Doctor Who and the Darleks BBC2
Witchfinder General BBC2
MacArthur ITV
Jaws: The Revenge ITV
The Desert Fox CH 4
Little Nicky CH 4
Murder at the Gallop CH 5
Daniel Steel's Secrets CH 5
The Duke CH 5
SUNDAY:
The Relic BBC 1
Things to Come BBC 2
Tuck Everlasting BBC 2
The Importance of Being Earnest BBC 2
Up at the Villa ITV
Mean Machine CH 4
Steel CH 5
It Could Happen to You CH 5
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The Man Chump
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Is it the new or old version of assult on precinct 13, and I would quite like to see what people think of the mild horror film The relic on sunday
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Catnapper
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I think it's the 1976 version Chump.......good choice of films, I'd be happy to watch them I haven't seen The Relic (I don't think) but it looks good!
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lord vader
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if it's the original then yes a great film the remake is utter garbage
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Lucifer_666
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Yep its the 76' Carpenter version Chump
They sound like good choices mate 
So which one are you going with or are we doing both??
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lord vader
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what time is it on luc
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Lucifer_666
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12.20 am Saturday Night/Sunday Morning mate
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The Man Chump
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Lets have the relic, I saw it in the cinema and really enjoyed it, but I was young so I would be interested to look on it now with more experienced eyes, what times is it on guys?
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Catnapper
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It's on BBC1 Sunday at 23.00 - 00.45 Chump.....
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Lucifer_666
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Good Stuff 
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The Man Chump
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Late night tomorrow then, I will have pen and paper ready!
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Lucifer_666
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A man with a mission .....thats what I like to hear bud
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The Man Chump
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Right film watched, review prepared. Inspired by Luc's pro article about Mystery men, I have my review typed up on word and am ready to submit, but i'll wait for you guys to have watched it first, unless you both stayed up like me last night.
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lord vader
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i watched american pie again last night , god that fiml is awesome lol
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Lucifer_666
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I still have to watch it mate....your review sounds good though....I'm looking forward to reading it
Yeah Sta I like American Pie too... some good laughs in it 
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lord vader
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hillarious man, i mean who would jump a pie and bone it 
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Lucifer_666
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Who I love in those films is his Dad who wants to be the cool understanding Father through the whole teenage bit.
Is that the one too where he is trying to watch a scrambled porn channel and the parents walk in, catch him and he can't switch it off
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lord vader
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and the bit where he put a web link to his room , and blow his load twice and nadia had only stroked his leg .
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Lucifer_666
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Yeah the whole film is just cringing for your man...ain't it
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The Man Chump
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Right here we goThe Relic:
This is a film that I saw in the cinema back in 1997 (aged 18) and it was one of the films that I saw in my Summer of film love. Let me explain a little further.
Where I was bought up, there was very little to do, 8 miles out of Cambridge is basically the same as 80 miles out of Cambridge if you can’t drive and the buses in the Fens are pretty irregular. The only films that I saw at the cinema before I was 17 were The Wuzzles, Wayne’s World and Backbeat, (my friend was a massive Beetles fan!)
So my first full year of driving and working (part time over the summer) was the first experience of having money and getting into film.
It wasn’t the best summer for films but films such as Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion, Anacondas and Private Parts all got a watching.
One of the films released in the summer of film love was the Relic, which is a mild horror/ action film from director Peter Hyams: (Timecop, End of days) Hyams seems to specialise in films that aren’t going to be taken too seriously, I don’t suppose he thinks he is going to get much in the way of awards for his work. The film stars: Penelope Ann Millar (Kindergarten Cop, with Arnie who Hyams worked with in End of days and Carlito’s way where she met Al Pacino and went on to date him for a while) Tom Sizemore (too many films to mention, but unusually here he gets the lead, sort of) Linda Hunt (who won an oscar, oddly for playing a man in the film The year of living dangerously 1982, and starred opposite Miller in kindergarten cop) and James Whitmore (Shawshank redemption)
The film has a pretty laughable premise; A shipment of artefacts is meant to be shipped over from Brazil by boat, the crates that hold them are packed with a mystery hormone goop on some of the leaves. By accident these crates get accidentally missed off the ship and have to be flown over. The ship that they should have been packed on to is found floating with no crew and blood smeared on the wall. The police thinking that it is a drug crime, get onto the boat in the harbour and check it over and find the crew floating in the bilge all decapitated with a part of their brain removed. Elsewhere in the city the crates are being opened at the museum and the artefacts being restored ready for a big launch of the latest display of superstition through time. But whatever was on the boat wants what was in the crate!
The film has a couple of really silly bits: As The detectives get onto the boat they pass some police with sniffer dogs who are looking for the crew, they then go down to the bilge and notice an incredible smell. Me thinks the dogs should have picked that up! Also when the female lead sees one of her closest friends has just been decapitated she, with a stern face Takes of her shoes and slams them on the floor as if to say, Right monster, The shoes are off and I’m coming to get you!
The film, which has the same director of photography as director (I’m not sure if that is normal, but I cant remember it happening elsewhere) it is also a bit of a one trick pony in terms of scary effects, how many times can you shine the torch directly into the camera lens to see that ring of light effect that makes it very hard to see what’s going on for a second. But saying that, the film is decently acted for a B movie (Much better than Anacondas which I saw the week after) and apart from a couple of slow bits and a while to get going, it’s not that bad at all.
To sum up, I remember it being better, but it really was one of the first action films I saw on the big screen, and my film tastes have changed over the last eleven years or so.
If any of you guys have your own Summer of film love, leave the films in the rose tinted glasses department rather than revisiting them for fear of ruining films at second look. Saying that, I still love Romy and Michelle’s high school reunion!
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Lucifer_666
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Great review mate with a real personal touch which I really enjoyed...... Good stuff
I think I'll watch it tonight
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Catnapper
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Excellent Chump and I loved the Summer of film love phrase
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The Man Chump
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thanks guys! i'll wait for empire to contact me
i'll be interested to see what you guys think of the film
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Catnapper
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Empire calling Chump....
I'll watch it tonight too so expect a review tomorrow.
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Lucifer_666
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You mean Empire haven't already been in touch mate?  
I'm going to watch it later on I think too but it may be two days before the review is entered knowing me 
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lord vader
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watched american pie 2 last night
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Catnapper
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Was it any good Andy?
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Catnapper
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The Relic
One of the taglines is "a mind is a terrible thing to waste....especially if you're really hungry" That, combined with the storyline of a monster created from a hormonal fungus found on leaves in S. America, made this a must see movie for me so thanks for picking it Chump.
It's an entertaining film which, even though it has a higher body count than a Tarantino film, is fun and exciting to watch! It even has some comedy thrown in......like the superstitious cop who tells people to walk round a dead body cause it's bad luck to walk over it But the pathologist Dr Zwiezic has some of the best lines......when examining a brain she says "something's wrong - this brain is light....even for a man" and a funny line about heads too
Like Chump said, some of the film is silly......like the dogs who don't pick up the dead bodies scent and the scene when they're being pursued by the monster in the dark tunnel and they're told to keep quiet by the cop before entering the tunnel.........then another cop leading them keeps shouting out "Are you ok at the back?" and "keep in line"......no wonder the monster knew where they were.
The sfx were good......especially the fire scenes at the end - very exciting! I was at a carboot at the weekend and bought the video for 50p so I didn't have to remember to record it......and I'm glad I bought it because I enjoyed the movie!
Chump - I'd never heard of a Director doing the Cinematography too so I had a look around........it seems Steven Soderbergh does both like he did on Oceans 11,12,13, Traffic and The Good German etc but he uses the name Peter Andrews as his Cinematography name........so maybe it's not as unusual as we thought?
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lord vader
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yeah cat american pie and pie 2 are brilliant and well funny , american pie the wedding is not bad , and band camp is ok but it's the worst one .
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Lucifer_666
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Another great review Cat Your one sounds like a feminist ....NOOOoooooooo!! I love the way you can get these vids and stuff for little or nothing .... It also looks like I will be last again to add my review
Yep I like the American Pie flicks too but I haven't seen the last two ..in fact I never even heard of Band Camp
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Catnapper
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If it's a sunny day and you go to a carboot with about 100 stalls......there's a fair chance you'll end up with some good vids and dvds Luc
Yeah she sounded a feminist but I loved the sarcastic lines she came out with lol!
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Lucifer_666
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I want a carboot market  All messing aside great bargains your getting babe
I'm looking forward to the film
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The Man Chump
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Yes she is quite a good character Cat good spot, especially as she has a very small part, I thought the whole film had some femenist undertones, becasue in the end of the day, it is the female lead and not the male who does the business!
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Catnapper
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Yeah I got blindsided by the female lead too!
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Lucifer_666
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Okay when I first seen that this was picked I won't lie and say I hadn't already an impression in my head, rightly or wrongly, of what this movie was going to be like as I had seen parts of it before and had read lots of reviews on it at the time of release (not many were good) however I said I would push those initial perceptions aside and judge it on its own merit ....as much as I possibly could anyway.
The movie has a real bizarre premise....some creature and hormonal fungus on leaves gets transported from S Sfrica to a Museum in the States... the thing starts decapitating people living off the Hypothalamus in the brain and traveling between the sewers underneath and the museum itself while further mutating. I think thats the essence of it..
We get first introduced to the Tom Sizemore superstitious cop character who I have to say I liked in it....and I enjoyed the opening scenes where they find the heads decapitated on the ship.. it then moves on to show some poor security guard entering a cubicle in the toilets of the museum and discover the real perils of having a sneaky smoke by getting his head swiped off...of course this all leads to another scene not mentioned before which I thought a bit silly.....A scene of a murder and some woman just walks into the room and sees everything she screams as they bungle her out....like that would really happen? Speaking of Penelope Ann Miller I really like her as an actress, she's good in Kindergarden Cop, Carlito's Way, but the film I love her in is an early nineties film called 'Other People's Money' with Danny DeVito ...its great ...anyway moving on ...in this she plays it by the numbers....she looks scared when she has to, intelligent when spouting the biological jargon and equally superior with the odd feminist joke... particulalrly when the cop asks her "Oh are we all evolving now too" and she turns snidely and responds "Well some of us are" .
I do agree with you Chump too there was a real undertone of feminism throughout with many of the top jobs and positions being occupied by women including the head of the museum played by Linda Hunt... I really like her too...she's very good at playing the tough authority figure with a heart and I do think her character in Kindergarden Cop is not that far away from the role she plays here. It was also good to see James Whitmore as the head researcher in the wheelchair... I'll always think of him as Brooks in Shawshank though . He does provide some interesting dialogue however and I really liked his little ditty on the tribal difficulties with headaches ....he also mentions the traditional tribal stories of a creature that was created by feeding someone or an animal the hormone fungus which caused a change. In turn the newly created monster would find no more leaves and go off to kill the tribe's enemies while they hid. When it's food supply ran out, it just simply died. I bring this up because we never truly find out why the guy at the beginning freely takes the fungus? Was he fooled?, threatened?, was he just curious? I guess we'll never know....
Of course it all builds up to the final scenes when the museum is locked down and I have to mention the sequence where they all rampage to the glass doors I thought was very well done even if I did think the crowd were kind of acting alot more panicked than they should have been. The creature at this point must have thought his Christmas's all came at once because he was just finishing each one off one at a time....well that is until he comes up against Miller's character.....Was it just me too that was completely reminded of Alien through the last parts and definitely the bit were there is like a stand off between her and the creature.....it licks her ...it is very reminiscent of Alien 3
I also thought the cycle of events when the creature was on fire, chasing her still and explosions catching up fast behind them just never seemed to end... she just seemed to run and run and the creature who was so fast earlier seemed no nearer to catching her .
I didn't know what to make of this film....there I said it.... ... I pressed the stop button when it was over and asked myself Did I like it?...and found myself unable to answer..you see there was parts of it I liked,... other parts I just thought stretched my imagination beyond capacity where I felt it was bordering on the ludicrous however there was good performances...in saying that I do think a more established leading actor other than Sizemore would have been better... Apparently Harrison Ford
was first choice and I can tell you now if he was in the film Penelope would not have ended up the creature slayer at the end.
I think my best deduction is ....All in all it was okay but at no stage did it really thrill me or even make me want to continnue watching it all that much... yet I'm glad I did and I'm able to properly judge instead of using other people's reviews as a guide...which really is not the thing to do......
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Lucifer_666
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Actually I forgot to mention another scene too in my review......Miller who is after seeing a guy with his head decapitated in the toilets a day or so earlier....starts to notice something behind her in a darkened museum....she begins to get scared and runs .....where does she run straight into???....yes you guessed it ... the toilets and also locks herself in a cubicle too..... I was just saying to myself of all the places for her to have gone it would have been the last place I would have thought......
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Catnapper
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Good honest review Luc Wonder how it would have turned out with Harrison Ford in it instead?! I can't see that the woman would have saved the day instead of him somehow!
Yeah I chuckled at the rushing into the toilet cubicle bit too.......as if hiding there with your feet pulled up would stop you from being attacked
Another thing I just thought of......when the creature came up to her, sniffed and licked her face was it because he recognised her? I liked the fire bit at the end but I kept thinking surely she couldn't outrun it?!
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Lucifer_666
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Yep I think thats what they were hinting at...when he licked her face...that he recognised her or the human part or what was left of it recognised her
I think Harrison would have had alot more say in the script and his character development and Penelope would have been very quickly sidelined to a supporting actress role or love interest
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Catnapper
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I thought the film was like a cross between Alien and A Night at the Museum but I'd watch it again
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The Man Chump
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Good review Luc, you have raised the bar again.
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Lucifer_666
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Thanks mate....but I really think your being too charitable
I don't know about the rest of you but I found this one the most difficult so far to review...maybe it was just me this week???
What I love is that all our reviews are so different ....and in fairness thats what we want
So well done everybody
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Catnapper
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Why was it difficult Luc? You always post great reviews even if you hated a film!
It was the type of film I like......even the gory bits didn't put me off watching! You don't have to think too hard about the plot just sit back and be entertained.........and ignore any gaping holes in the story!
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Lucifer_666
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I don't know Cat I was tired this week and hadn't been sleeping well and I think that may have effected my interest and concentration levels...in saying that the film also didn't help in this regard either
I just didn't feel there was even enough action or great special effects to warrant ignoring the gaping holes ....wait what am I saying the giant craters in the story
But its great you did like it Cat....this is what the movie club is all about ..... we all get different things out of each film and take on board each person's review and perspective 
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