FilmFlicking

Emperor Morphetine · Screen Legend Joined: 29 Jan 2008 Posts: 3576

I notice this place has gone a bit quiet on the writing front so I thought I would start a new story. Feel free to add bits as we go along, hopefully it'll be as fun as previous ones!

Lady Cat Napperwood was rather excited. Today was the start of the summer social season at her exsquisite mansion, and she couldn't wait to entertain once again. She had had her gardener, a tough Scot named Aundy McShears busy in the grounds for a while now. After he had finished he got on with some pruning and weeding, and she redid up her dress and went indoors to prepare for that afternoon's garden party.

Summoning her maid, Kay, she ordered that the great hall and guest bedrooms in particular be cleaned for her friends, as she didn't want them to think ill of her. 'Now, I want this to go without a hitch, you hear?' she barked. 'Indeed m'lady, can't have the bedroom looking a mess for the gentlemen, can we?' came a sarcastic reply.

' I hardly think they'll care about the furnishings, they'll be too busy looking at my bust' Lady Napperwood observed. 'Yes, I've always thought that the one of your late father Sir Luc on your dresser table was good, very lifelike.' said Kay. 'Yes, yes, who'll ever forget the randy old goat?' she laughed. 'But I actually meant mine, as once I take off my corset they'll be sweating into their pantaloons with desire.' she giggled.

With that she ran back downstairs and summoned her cook, Nostromo, who was good at handling dishes, and liked to boast of the fact. 'Now, my good man, we have several important people attending, so I'd like you to prepare a veritable feast of summer!' she happily pointed out. 'Make sure you use the good ingredients and do bring some of the house wine, you know how we all do like a glass or two to loosen the spirits, and in some cases, clothes.' she added.

'Very good, m'lady.' answered Nostromo and went to work. Just then there came a knock at the door of the living room. 'Now who could that be?' she pondered as she went to answer. It was her French cousin Madame Honais, who was holidaying in the area. 'Allo cousin!' she beamed. ' I trust zat I am not, how you say, late.' she stammered.

'No, as a matter of fact you're, how we say, early.' came the reply, and she showed her cousin into the living room. After a few seconds she heard a horrid shriek, and went to investigate. Honais was slumped on the floor, not moving. 'Must have had a few glasses before she came.' tutted Cat and went into the garden to see how things were going.

'Ah hope you'll like ma wee bit of stuff here' shouted the gardener. 'You know I always do, you naughty boy.' she laughed. ' I wasnae talking about that but it'll do, yer ladyship.' he said, winking comically.

Just then, the butler, Jipps, came out onto the patio. 'Begging your pardon m'lady, but a guest has arrived.' he said. She went to greet them. It was Colonel Morphleigh, the slightly mad but charming retired military man she had befriended during a stint as a nurse during World War One.

'Good day, m'lady.' he said, kissing her hand. Then he ordered 'Get down, get down!'. 'My dear Colonel, whatever's the matter?' she asked of him. 'The Germans are attacking, thats what! Catch Fritz with his trousers down and all that!' burbled the Colonel. 'But the war ended several years ago. Would you like a drink to soothe your nerves?' replied Cat. ' A stiff one!' barked the Colonel.

'Very well, I'll fetch your usual glass of port!' she giggled. ' No, I mean I have a stiff one.' he said. Looking at his trousers she saw what he meant, for he had long had a reputation as a ladies man, the uniform was merely a bonus.

She ushered him into the sitting room, careful not to show him her cousin, although he would like her, he loved going 'behind enemy lines' as he put it. He was handed the glass, and she went into the great hall to prepare herself. All of a sudden she heard the Colonel screech that the enemy had come back, and a thump as he hit the floor. 'One of his games.' she thought, although as she went to check she was extra careful. Sure enough, the Colonel was on the floor, though he hadn't adopted his 'ready for action' position. Something was wrong, and a fear washed over Lady Napperwood. Was the drink too strong? Were her guests really that tired? Or was it much worse?

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The Dark Side is a pathway to many abilities, some considered to be..unnatural.

big aundy · Site Joined: 31 Jul 2007 Posts: 4066 Location: scotland

mcshears finishes up in the garden and goes in to the kitchen ,

" aw right nossy , got any grub mate am starving ,"

" you'll get a bacon roll over there aundy ,"

" braw , thanks lad ,"

aundy grabs the roll and goes back to his shed .

after a while aundy goes back to the house , goes to his on suite room , and takes a shower , puts on some nice clothing and goes to see me lady .

"me lady , you need anything else doing at the moment , or am i free for a bit "
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" rest in pppppeeeaaassseeeee."

Emperor Morphetine · Screen Legend Joined: 29 Jan 2008 Posts: 3576

'No, I think that's it for a while thank you.' said the Lady, and went to slip into something more comfortable. The gardener waited with baited breath, and she swiftly returned in a low cut summer dress. 'There, that's better!' she laughed. 'Aye, it is.' replied McAundy. 'Ah like it when ye get all glammed up, m'lady.' he stammered. 'Oh, how sweet. May I say that you also look rather dashing. I do like a bit of rough though.' she replied.

'Well if ye play yer cards right ye may get what ye wish for..' whispered McAundy. 'Charming' cut in Jipps, who had guessed what the randy groundsman wanted. 'But you'll have to wait, another guest has arrived.' he added. 'Oh, send Kay to deal with them, I'm..busy.' she giggled, and took McAundy upstairs by the hand.

Kay was summoned and went to the door. She opened it to find Gellar Bing, an American businessman who Lady Napperley had become acquainted with during one of her frequent holidays. He smiled a flashy smile, which dazzled Kay temporarily. 'Hi, is her Ladyship available right now?' he said. 'No, but I am!' she yelled and thrust herself on him, as she liked him, he wasn't like the others she had met during this time. 'W..what the hell?' stammered Bing. 'I like you, sir.' she said giggling. 'Really? My dazzling smile can melt your heart just like that?' he said, bewildered.

'Well, that and a bit more besides.' she cut in, winking saucily. 'Oh, I see. Well, that's..just swell.' he laughed, and after she had shown him his room they went to inspect it further. ' I must say, her Ladyship has picked a real goer with you.' laughed Kay. 'Eh? Oh, must be some British slang.' he said as he went to undo her pinny.

But in her haste she had forgotten to shut the door to the entrance of Napperwood Manor, and somebody wanted in.......
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The Dark Side is a pathway to many abilities, some considered to be..unnatural.

K · Posted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 3:07 pm Post subject:

Jolly good Darth, I'll think of another episode and we can write episodes for each other's stories

Emperor Morphetine · Screen Legend Joined: 29 Jan 2008 Posts: 3576

Excellent.

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The Dark Side is a pathway to many abilities, some considered to be..unnatural.